Hot, agitating August
Aug 02, 2011 | 2719 views | 0 0 comments | 54 54 recommendations | email to a friend | print
By Jody Norwood

Tribune-Courier News Editor

It’s somewhere between 90 and 200 degrees outside, summer traffic is in full force and the NFL’s free agency signals the start of the season is right around the corner. A hot, humid corner.

So, with summer here, it seems like a good time to throw out a list of things that are more agitating than constant updates on the debt crisis.

n People who don’t use blinkers.

I don’t use them either, but everyone else should. Automakers put the turn signal right there on the steering column. All it takes is flicking the hand up or down. They even turn themselves off after you turn.

n Lawn mowers.

As soon as summer starts you break them out and get to work. And then your mower breaks. For the next couple of months, you spend time putting on new belts, sharpening blades and trying to figure out just what’s wrong. Every time you think you’ve got one part fixed, something else goes wrong. Until around September. By then, you’ve completely rebuilt the thing for the third time and it’s running like a top.

Just in time to go back into the garage and sit for six months. Waiting. Waiting until summer rolls back around so it can start the cycle over again.

n Deodorant brands.

Why can’t there just be one? Just one flavor. Nobody needs for their underarms to smell like lavender-lilac-cherry-cuccumber-tumbleweed.

How about one for girls and one for guys? Like “fabric softener for her” and “barbecue sauce for him?”

n Daylight saving time.

The sun goes down just before midnight in the summer and sometime after noon in the winter.

What’s wrong with just having sunset before the nightly news? Why the need to manipulate the sun? There’s got to be a better use of our energy than trying to squeeze out an extra hour or two to play golf.

Speaking of which...

n Tiger Woods.

He has a big backyard. He has a giant bachelor pad. He and his caddy parted ways.

That’s great. Of all the newsworthy things I can think of, that ranks about as high as editorials mentioning the little red things in olives.

n Trailer lights.

It’s amazing how someone can spend $30,000 on a boat, $40,000 on a truck to haul to boat, $6,000 on a trailer and then not take the time to plug in the trailer lights.

n Pimentos

Really, what is the purpose of these things? Are they a vegetable, animal or mineral? Do they do anything to the olive aside from take up space?

If the pimento is so important, why aren’t they included in sliced olives? Or black olives?
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