By Mary Garrison
Tribune-Courier Reporter
mgarrison@tribunecourier.com

In this series, the Trib will delve into the world of eating disorders and tell how people suffering from them can find help locally. Names of subjects have been changed to protect anonymity.

Anorexia victim speaks out

Ginger was just 13 years-old when she stopped eating. Now, some 14 years later, she’s still reeling in the aftershock of her decline into the frightening world of anorexia nervosa.

“To be honest, I just didn’t realize that I had a problem,” Ginger said.

Statistics indicate she’s not the only one. According to studies conducted by the National Institute of Mental Health, an estimated 5 to 10 million women across the United States struggle with some form of eating disorder.

It’s a number that continues to grow with each passing day, including more than 1 million men into the ranks, as well.

Often, though, those caught up in the web of anorexia or bulimia fail to see just how or why the problem starts.

“No one just wakes up one day and says, ‘I think I’ll be anorexic,’” Ginger said. “It happens gradually, but before you know it, you’re caught.”

For Ginger, the problem took root after a traumatic experience as a child.

“I didn’t feel good about myself,” she recalled. “I felt worthless, and it started to manifest in the way I saw myself physically.”

And while those around her said she was never a overweight, Ginger didn’t see it that way. “When I looked in the mirror, I saw fat,” she said.

It wasn’t long before she began restricting her diet, and setting unreasonable goals for herself.

“I weighed myself constantly,” Ginger said. “I was terrified to weigh more than 100 pounds, and did everything I could to stay below that mark”– including full-blown starvation.

Ginger eventually went from restricting her diet to eating nothing at all.

“I lost close to 15 pounds in one week,” she said. “After that, it didn’t matter how difficult it had been not to eat. To me, the results were worth it.”

But those results came at a terrible price. Ginger’s behavior began to snowball beyond her control.

“At first, it’s about the will to not eat,” she said. “Eventually, though, you can’t eat, even if you want to. Your stomach shrinks to the point of nothing, and the physical act of eating makes you sick.”

So, she didn’t. Ginger continued her battle in secret, hiding from those around her by lying about her eating habits. She blamed her weight loss on stress and staying busy with work and school.

“Sometimes, I would go as long as two months without eating,” she said. “It was hard to hide, especially from my mother, but I managed.”
Behind closed doors, Ginger was spiralling into deep depression, as well.

“I cried all the time,” Ginger recalled. “I hated myself. And the sad thing was, I still didn’t think that I had a problem. I still thought I could handle it.”

For 10 years, Ginger thought she could handle it. Then, her grades began to slip.

“I’d always been really good in school — I’d never failed anything,” Ginger said. “I got two F’s that semester. I started to come to terms with the fact that something was very wrong.”

But old habits die hard, and the pattern continued. Until one day, when everything changed. Halfway through her work shift, Ginger collapsed. She weighed less than 80 pounds at the time.

“I really got scared for the first time, then,” Ginger said. “That’s when I realized I could die.”

Ginger decided it was time to seek help. She went to a medical professional who helped her plan out the steps in her recovery and to make the leap of telling her family the truth.

“I didn’t want to believe them at first,” Rhonda said. “I just knew it was something else, and they weren’t looking for it. I didn’t want to believe that my daughter had a problem.”

The battle was still uphill, however. Rhonda said it was difficult not to get frustrated with what they were facing.

“I would get angry when she still wouldn’t really eat, at first,” Rhonda said. “But it would just add fuel to the fire. The more stress on the situation, the lower her appetite.”

Still, they were determined. Ginger had an outlined plan to make an effort to eat at least something, even if just a bite, seven times a day.

“It was my nurse at the Marshall County Health Department that really helped me most though,” Ginger said. “We came up with the idea to get rid of every scale in the house. I don’t weigh myself, anymore. Period. And when I go to the doctor, they weigh me facing away from the scale and don’t tell me what it reads.”

However, family support, has been the most beneficial aid she could ask for.

“We try to stay positive,” Rhonda said. “Instead of getting upset at what she doesn’t eat, we step back and say, ‘that’s okay, you tried and maybe the next meal you’ll get a bite or two more.’ The important thing is to always look ahead.”

It is a battle they face one day at at time, even still, nearly four years later.

“It’s still really hard to make myself eat,” Ginger said. “I don’t always get three meals in, and they’re never full meals. I’ll never have a normal appetite, again. But I’m trying, and it’s the best I can do.”

Ginger has not escaped without detriment to her health. Like many anorexics and bulimics, she suffers from a very poor immune system and anemia.

The physical side effects could have been far worse, and may have yet to be seen, however. Anorexia and bulimia can be responsible for damage to the heart and cardiovascular system, kidney failure, liver damage, osteoperosis, tooth and gum decay, tears in the esophagus and reproductive difficulty just to name a few.

The emotional damage can be equally extensive. Victims of eating disorders are often prone to depression, suicidal tendencies and obsessive-compulsive disorders.

“What people don’t understand is that it’s not a physical problem,” Ginger said. “It’s psychological. All eating disorders are. It’s not about attention or even losing weight, it’s about an unhealthy image of yourself.”

According to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Eating Disorders, there are warning signs that everyone should be aware of:

Deliberate self-starvation with weight loss, intense, persistent fear of gaining weight, refusal to eat or highly restrictive eating, continuous dieting, excessive facial/body hair because of inadequate protein in the diet, compulsive exercise, abnormal weight loss, sensitivity to cold, absent or irregular menstruation (in women) and hair loss could fortell of an eating disorder.

“You never get over something like anorexia,” Ginger said. “You learn to live with it, and to overcome the problems it presents you. You have to be strong, but it can be done.”